When we enter into a relationship, we want to matter to our partner, to be visible and important.... We want to know our efforts are noticed and appreciated. We want to know our relationship is regarded as important by our partner and will not be relegated to second or third place because of a competing person, task, or thing. Stan Tatkin
About This Quote

When we enter into a relationship we want to matter to our partner, to be visible and important. No relationship is perfect. We all know that we go through arguments and disagreements. We know that we can be moody and grumpy and sometimes downright mean.

When we fall out and start to fight, it's hard to think about what our partner might be going through. Maybe they don't know how to handle their own emotions or maybe they don't know how to handle ours, but does our partner feel neglected? Does our partner feel unloved? Does our partner feel like their emotions aren't being heard? I think so many of us assume that we love our partner and that we matter just as much as they do. If that were true, then our partner would know all of our feelings and every time we said something, they would see it and understand it.

But if we're honest and telling the truth and I'm willing to admit I don't always understand my feelings, then how can my partner? How can anyone else?

Source: Wired For Love: How Understanding Your Partners Brain And Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict And Build A Secure Relationship

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